The "Empressive" Woman

The "Empressive" woman is royalty. She unapologetically owns and walks in her truth yet is humble enough to embrace her flaws. She leaves an everlasting mark wherever she goes. She is not simply "a look", she's an essence.


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When I made this video a year ago, I was reminiscing on comments I’d heard. One guy told me how “gorgeous” I was and was adamant about not allowing anyone to make me feel otherwise. An older woman avowed that I was “beautiful” then proceeded to say “you should watch the dark girls documentary, I think it will help you”.  A male family friend tried to convince me that my lighter skin friends were more liked when we went out, and insisted that I would be “trouble” if I were my mom’s complexion.

My response has always been confused, is there a meme out there with a face that translates to "what you saying to me?" DWL (dead with laugh). Why assume that I would feel bad? Why do you think I would allow others to make me feel differently? Why assume that a documentary will help me---help me with what? 

We know that colorism is not a new phenomenon, there is a plethora of articles, documentaries, dialogues illuminating its roots and ramifications, but there is something momentous that they often omit:


Yes, we exist lol. The assumption behind the color discourse has somehow generalized to "dark women" period (the same way there are generalizations about my lighter sisters being stuck up). The assumption is that we all or most of us hate our complexions, we are bitter/jealous of lighter women (FYI I came out of a light woman’s cat, and have nuff beautiful light skin cousins and girlfriends), we are insecure, can’t get any guys (FYI again, I’ve never had trouble with men---di boys dem sugar lol).

Why is the voice of dark skin girls who love themselves important? Why bring it up?

Most of the conversations surrounding this topic focuses on the pain of some of our fellow dark skin sisters, and in no way is this wrong, it exists, (I am never trying to SHUN, BELITTLE or NEGATE those painful experiences)--- how revolutionary would it be to also show the other side, a sort of balance, something along the lines of  “Hey sis, I’m dark too, I don't care what they say because ……..” (insert reason and hope that it sparks a mentality that shifts how we teach our future generations... our personal views regarding color can be changed by the ideologies we hold), or “Hey sis, you’re beautiful, i'm winning you can win to, hold you head....”. Who better to be a paradigm, a teacher of beauty than your reflection? We need more representation, more reminders, more reinforcers of beautiful, powerful and how supreme dark skin women are.

Let's keep it real, will there always be people who discriminate against skin color? Probably, i'm not Ms. cleo to know, Will I ever give a fuck? Let me check my skin color….No lol……Empress Walk out.

Growing Up Ugly